Carbonara as God Intended

Make fresh pasta.*
I like to make a quadruple batch, as the kneeding is the hardest part, and kneeding is just as easy with a quadruple dose as a single.
For CARBONARA AS GOD INTENDED I lifted a move from Batali I saw on Iron Chef America: Battle Chocolate and Coconut and sifted unsweetened cocoa into the flour.
A note on flour: I use regular all purpose flour, and I bet you 2000 lira that if Grandma Samangiare lived in DC today she would too.
Cut the pasta into tagliatelle about 1/4 in wide. I use an old Amish rolling pin cum pasta cutter.
Set water onto boil.

In a mortar and pestle combine herbs (I used a tablespoon of dried garden thyme and the leaves from one six inch stalk of fresh rosemary), a teaspoon of black pepper, five cloves of garlic, a dash of salt and olive oil. Mash into a pesto.

Fry up half a pound of thick-sliced bacon in a skillet. I used Union Meat Company's ridiculously good thick-sliced skin-on bacon. Set aside. Pour off most of the hot grease into a coffee mug and save for later.
Add one chopped onion to hot skillet and stir, adding olive oil.
Moderate the heat so the onions cook until very soft but do not blacken.
When the onions are very soft, stir in the pesto and remove from heat.

Add fresh pasta to boiling water.
Fresh pasta cooks very quickly. Do not overcook it.
Add a few spoonfuls of pasta water to the onions/pesto in the skillet.
Add a dash of milk to onion/pesto mixture.

When the pasta is done, drain quickly and return to pot.
Crack one egg into the noodles and stir quickly, but gently, until the egg forms solid curds.
Add onion/pesto mixture.
Cut the bacon into small pieces into the noodles. I used a pair of scissors.
Stir and serve in a large bowl.

In the event that you have a hard, sharp Italian cheese such as pecarino or parmesan by all means incorporate this into the dish. If, like Ms Vidal and I, you can't afford to pay 16$ a pound for anything, least of all cheese, do as the Italian peasants of yore did and sprinkle the carbonara with crumbs from stale white bread.

In the event you have a bottle of red wine around, but all means drink it with CARBONARA AS GOD INTENDED. If you do not, water is a delicious accompaniment.

*It is imperative to use fresh pasta with carbonara, as the interplay of textures between the crisp bacon and pillow-soft noodle is one of the dish's foremost qualities.